Saturday, June 30, 2012

R.A. DICKEY ALL-STAR...JV AIN'T KOUFAX (COLLECTIVE 'GASP!' AMONGST TIGERS' FANS)...ZIM BEAR

R.A. Dickey shutout the Dodgers 9-0.
On Friday night, the Mets' bad-ass knuckleballer pitched 8 innings, allowed 3 hits, 1 walk and notched 10 strikeouts.
Dickey leads the majors in wins at 12-1.
Here's his description of his knuckler:

"The metaphor I would give is that if a traditional knuckleball is a butterfly, mine is more like a butterfly on steroids. It's more like a mosquito or a hummingbird than a butterfly, because of the velocity. It comes in and breaks late at the plate. It darts more and it's in and out of the strike zone. Phil Niekro once told me I had an `angry' knuckleball."

If this cat isn't the starting pitcher for the National League in the All-Star Game, something's messed-up!




It has become kind of a stupid tradition on Twitter for some Tigers' fans to Tweet "Happy Verlander Day" everytime Justin Verlander has a start. They take it for granted that it will result in an automatic win.
Listen, kids, Verlander's a great pitcher - but he's NOT Sandy Koufax.
He, probably, blew his wad last year.
It's highly unlikely that JV will EVER see another AL MVP season. He might get a couple more Cy Youngs...he might even throw a couple more No-nos...but his starts don't guarantee a win.
Verlander needs to learn to not let his ego get in the way of his pitch selection.
Too many times this season JV has followed up a fastball with a faster fastball.
Unless you have crazy-ass late breaking movement on your heater - don't throw your cheese in succession.
Lately, Verlander's line of thinking has been to follow-up a 100 mph heater with a 101 or 102 mph heater. This is not sound methodology. Most of the cats in The Show got there as a result of their ability to turn on a 90+ mph fastball and deliver it to the paying customers 400 feet away! Verlander needs to come to the realization that his heater IS NOT UNHITTABLE!
In the history of baseball, there are ONLY two hurlers who possessed a pitch that was virtually unhittable: Mariano Rivera's cut fastball and Sandy Koufax' curveball.
A 100 mph heater means nothing unless it breaks late - hence the career of Joel Zumaya.
On Friday night, Justin Verlander fell behind in the count several times. This resulted in JV serving-up 3 home runs - two to Desmond Jennings and another to Ben Zobrist. Verlander took the loss as the Rays beat the Tigers 4-2.





It was 'Zim Bear' night at Tropicana Field.
The first 10,000 fans received a stuffed bear in honour of Don Zimmer.
The promotion was so popular that the team has ordered 10,000 more 'Zim Bears' and plan to give them away at a future game!
Leyland even got one...for real!!











Friday, June 29, 2012

MAXED OUT

Max Scherzer pitched 6 innings, allowed 4 hits, 2 runs, 2 walks and fired 7 Ks on the way to a 5-2 win over the Tampa Bay Rays.
Scherzer is tied for the MLB strikeouts lead with Seattle's Felix Hernandez at 114 - one ahead of teammate Justin Verlander.
Miguel Cabrera went 4-for-5 with a homer and 2 RBIs.




Max Headroom approves: KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKK


Thursday, June 28, 2012

THE RED SOX & SARA JEAN ARE HOT...HAM & THE TIGERS ARE NOT

The Red Sox are tied with the Rays for 3rd place in the AL East.
They sit 6 1/2 games behind the New York Yankees who, yesterday, lost two starters.
CC Sabathia went on the disabled list with a groin strain and Andy Pettitte joined him when a comebacker fractured his fibula(left ankle).
Boston is 8-2 over their last 10 games.
On Wednesday night, the Red Sox smoked the Blue Jays 10-4.
Jon Lester got the win, going 7 strong innings.
Adrian Gonzalez had 3 RBIs.
The Large Father hit his 21st homer. It was career dinger #399 for Ortiz, who is now tied with Andres Galarraga and Al Kaline.




Holy crap!! 33 hits in the Tigers - Rangers game last night. Detroit had 17 hits and, still, managed to lose 13-9!!!
Doug Fister served-up 3 homers!!!!
The Tigers got lit-up and Josh Hamilton was MIA. Ham went 0-for-4 and struck out all 4 times! He's way out of sync - 6-for-36 (.167) in his past 10 games.
The employees at Louisville must be working overtime - he's been tossing bats into the crowd like a boss...




It's gonna be a HOT one today! To celebrate, here's Sara Jean Underwood catching some rays last weekend...





Wednesday, June 27, 2012

YU, PRINCE & HAM...KATE UPTON IS TALENTED

Yu Darvish did it again last night.
In 103 degree Texas heat he tossed 113 pitches.
Darvish pitched 7 innings, allowed 4 hits, 4 runs, 1 walk and notched 10 Ks.
Prince Fielder hit a double and a homer with 4 RBIs.
Josh Hamilton homered for the 2nd night in a row. Hamilton cranked his 24th of the season to tie Toronto's Jose Bautista for the major league lead. He leads the majors with 67 RBIs.
Texas defeated Detroit 7-5.




There is NO better bikini body.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

TIGERS HIT IN TEXAS HEAT...MAT & DALLAS LATOS

The Texas heat must agree with the Detroit Tigers.
After scoring a total of 5 runs over 3 games against the Pirates, Detroit scored
5 in the 1st inning in 100-degree heat at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.
The Rangers' Justin Grimm, in his 2nd career start, lasted 1 inning - giving up
8 hits and 6 runs.
Rick Porcello threw 6 strong innings, allowing 6 hits, 1 run, 3 walks and 7 Ks.
Miguel Cabrera hit a pair of doubles and 3 RBIs.
Josh Hamilton cranked a 2-run dinger for Texas in the 7th.
The Tigers beat the Rangers 8-2.
Tonight: Yu Darvish vs Drew Smyly at 8:05 PM
Josh Hamilton had a bit of a problem gripping the lumber in the first inning.
He tossed a couple of souvenirs to the fans.







The HBWHOF monitors Twitter religiously. Yep, I dig me some Twitter.
I follow Mat Latos' wife, Dallas, who is quite entertaining. Dallas manages to remain calm even though a ton of Cincinnati Reds' fans criticize her husband with every start.
Last night, no one could bitch. Latos pitched his 2nd career complete game on Monday night. He also struck out a cereer-high 13 batters. He tossed 109 pitches - 80 for strikes!




The HBWHOF digs Mat & Dallas Latos.
I think it might be time for another induction into the Hot Baseball Wife Hall of Fame...








Monday, June 25, 2012

YOOOOUUUUK

The Tigers narrowly avoided a sweep at the hands of the Pirates on Sunday.
Justin Verlander pitched a complete game, allowing 5 hits, 2 runs, 1 walk and
7 Ks.
Quintin Berry hit a 2-run dinger for his first major league home run.
Detroit beat Pittsburgh 3-2.

Kevin Youkilis is no longer a member of the Boston Red Sox.
Boston traded Youkilis and $5.5 million in cash to the White Sox for reliever Zach Stewart and utilityman Brent Lillibridge.
This makes room for rookie Will Middlebrooks and rids manager Bobby Valentine and owner/CEO/dinks John Henry, Thomas Werner and Larry Lucchino of their whipping boy.
For the White Sox this is a great trade. They have zero production at third base. Youkilis has had a slew of injuries in recent years but a change of scenery might be just what the doctor ordered.
Youkilis' had worn out his welcome in Boston. Management wanted him gone. Middlebrooks is the Red Sox third baseman of the future.
I still think this trade will be good for Chicago.
In the book Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game - Youkilis was a prized acquisition nicknamed "Euclis: The Greek God of Walks." He's a 3-time All Star. The cat KNOWS how to play defence and how to get on base. He makes shit happen.
Yesterday, in his final at-bat for the Red Sox, he hit an RBI triple. The trade had already been made, so he was replaced by pinch-runner Nick Punto. As he walked off the field, the Fenway crowd gave him a standing ovation while a video tribute played on the scoreboard. The fans continued to cheer until Youk came out of the dugout for a curtain call.
He will be missed.
YOOOOOOUUUUUUUK

Sunday, June 24, 2012

MAX SCHERZER IS BRAVEHEART...JIM THOME CAN TAKE HIS FAMILY TO DINNER

On Saturday, Max Scherzer pitched with a heavy heart.
His brother, Alex Scherzer, died Thursday at 24 years of age.
Max pitched 6 innings, allowed a walk, struck out 7 and made only one mistake -
a 3-run homer by Andrew McCutchen.
The Tigers offered minimal run support - 4 hits - a solo homer courtesy of Miguel Cabrera.
Pittsburgh defeated Detroit 4-1.
COURAGE



Jonathan Papelbon blew a save situation last night.
Papelbon entered the game in the top of the 9th with his Phillies leading 6-4 over the Rays.
He promptly allowed 2 runs and the game was tied going into the bottom of the inning.
Phillies skipper Charlie Manuel decided to pinch-hit Jim Thome.
Thome walked into the on-deck circle and Papelbon walked over and told him that if hit a homer he would pay him $5,000.
Guess what the big guy did?
Thome connected with a 96 mph heater from left-hander Jake McGee to hit his 13th career walk-off home run.
His dinger set a new MLB record for most career walk-off homers.
This guy is one of the greatest hitters in MLB history.
The 5 dudes he just passed are all tied with 12 career walk-offs - check-out these names: Jimmie Fox, Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Stan Musial, and Frank Robinson.
It was Thome's 609th homer, tying Sammy Sosa for 7th place on baseball's career list.
Papelbon wrote the cheque in the clubhouse.


Saturday, June 23, 2012

THE NL AGREES WITH A.J. BURNETT...RYAN PERRY TAKES A BIG STEP

All is not right with the world when A.J. Burnett has a record of 8-2 while Doug Fister sits at 1-4. Burnett pitched 6 shutout innings to help the Pirates beat the Tigers 4-1.
Good 'ol A.J. just won his 7th consecutive start. That's the longest streak for a Pirates pitcher in 38 years. Doc Ellis won 8 consecutive outings in 1974.
Andrew McCutchen went 3-for-4 to improve his batting average to .346 - that cat is a good ballplayer!






Twitter rumours pushed aside - the Detroit News has reported that Max Scherzer was not with the team Friday in Pittsburgh because of what Detroit officials called "personal reasons." He is scheduled to rejoin the club today in time for his start in the 4:05 pm game against the Pirates.
Max Scherzer vs Brad Lincoln.
Scherzer's last start against Pittsburgh: 15 Ks
If you are a regular reader of the HBWHOF you KNOW I support my ex-Tigers.
I'm a big fan of Brandon Inge, Scotty Sizemore and Ryan Perry.
The Washington Nationals have converted Ryan Perry from a reliever into a starter.
Today, Perry takes the mound for the Harrisburg Senators vs New Hampshire Fisher Cats.
The HBWHOF wishes him the best of luck. I want to see him back in The Show.

Friday, June 22, 2012

QUINTIN BERRY WITH A TIMELY HIT - BIG PAPI TIRED OF THE SHIT

Quintin Berry cranked a walk-off, tiebreaking RBI single in the 10th inning to give the Tigers a 2-1 win over the St. Louis Cardinals on Thursday.
Jacob Turner allowed 1 run over 5 innings, then the Detroit bullpen shutdown the cards. Octavio Dotel, Phil Coke, Brayan Villarreal and Joaquin Benoit closed it out.
In the 4th inning, Prince Fielder absolutley CRUSHED a 425-foot 'tater and executed a sweet-ass bat flip to punctuate his 11th homer of the year.






Hey, Big Papi, you just hit your 11th career Grand Slam. Are you having fun?

“Not really. Too much shit, man. People need to leave us alone and let us play baseball. It’s starting to become the shithole it used to be. Playing here used to be so much fun. [Now] every day is something new, not related to baseball. People need to leave us alone. Every day is something new, some drama, some more shit. I’m tired of that, man. I’m here to play baseball, man.”


Thursday, June 21, 2012

JAKE WESTBROOK???...THE LARGE FATHER CLEARS THE PILLOWS AGAIN!

The Cards beat the Tigers 3-1.
Freakin' Jake Westbrook threw a complete game for the win.
I hate the Cards.

Game-time temperature was 95 degrees at Fenway last night.
That translates to airborne baseballs.
The Red Sox and Marlins pounded-out 28 hits between them in a 15-5 Boston rout.
The Large Father whacked his 11th career grand slam - his 18th dinger this season.
Boston, finally, climbed out of the basement in the AL East moving 1/2 game ahead of the Blue Jays - but still 6 games behind the 1st place Yankees.
Mike Aviles , Jarrod Saltalamacchia and Will Middlebrooks also homered for Boston.
Big Papi is now tied with Joe Carter for 52nd place with 396 homers.
Ortiz also jumped into 2nd on the Red Sox Grand Salami list:
1) Ted Williams - 17
2) David Ortiz - 10
3) Rico Petrocelli - 9
4) Trot Nixon, Jim Rice & Bobby Doerr - 8

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

TIGERS ARE LIKE THE JEFFERSONS - MOVIN' ON UP

JV threw 7 strong innings and the dynamic bullpen duo of Joaquin Benoit and Phil Coke closed it out to help the Tigers defeat the Cards 6-3.
The Big Potato felt pain in his right wrist while warming up and couldn't pitch.
Interleague has been good to Detroit. They've gone 7-3 their last 10 games.




I dig Coke. He's the Real Thing.
Here's another HBWHOF prediction: Max Scherzer will out-K Justin Verlander this season.

HOT

Sweet coney dog chompin' Moses, it's hot outside!
When the thermometer heads upward, like today, all you want to do is chillax poolside with a frosty beverage - maybe do some bikini recon.
In the spirit of hot summer days, the HBWHOF turns its attention towards the best bikini bod around.
Here's Kate Upton in the new GQ...

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

KNUCKLEHEAD & KNUCKLEBALL

Your tongue plots destruction,
like a sharp razor, you worker of deceit.
You love evil more than good,
and lying more than speaking what is right.


Psalm 52:2-4





The HBWHOF loves the knuckleball.
That's why I love R.A. Dickey.
Dickey threw his 2nd consecutive one-hitter, last night, to lead the Mets to a 5-0 win over the Orioles. The Mets' knuckleball specialist threw a complete game, walking only 2 and striking out 13.
Dickey leads the majors with an 11-1 record.


Monday, June 18, 2012

TIGERS ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK

Just like I said, the Tigers took 2-out-of-3 from the Rockies.
The David Bowie of baseball, Strikeout Commando, Max Scherzer threw 8 innings of shutout ball, didn't allow a walk and fired 12 Ks. Scherzer has struck out at least 9 batters six times this season, most in the majors.
Quintin Berry went 5-for-5.
Next up: Cards and Pirates.





GQ - July 2012 - Kate Upton - BOOM!!!


Sunday, June 17, 2012

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!








LADIES NIGHT

My wife and two girlfriends hit The Copa yesterday for the ballgame.
It was the 1st Annual Ladies Night at Comerica Park.
300 women sat in the upper deck, section 333, to watch the game. After the last out, the girls headed upstairs to the Tiger Club for a drink, some sushi, makeovers, a gift bag and photos with Joaquin Benoit and Phil Coke.
Mrs. HBWHOF and her posse didn't even make it to their seats.
They met some cat at The Ellwood whose wife was passed-out in their hotel room from too many libations. Their newfound friend had seasons tickets behind home plate and the girls enjoyed the game from that vantage point.
By the time my wife got her photo opportunity with Phil Coke, she was pretty buzzed and the resulting pic - too hilarious to post on this blog - has her laughing her ass off and Coke smirking like the Cheshire Cat.
They ended up at The Old Shillelagh. Needless to say they had fun.



Doug Fister pitched 6 shutout innings in his return from the disabled list.
Miguel Cabrera hit a solo homer and also scored on what manager Jim Leyland described as "a little league home run."
Cabrera led off the fifth with a comebacker to Rockies' starter Christian Friedrich. Friedrich knocked it down - then threw wildly - way past first base. Catcher Wilin Rosario, second baseman Chris Nelson and right fielder Michael Cuddyer chased down the ball. Meanwhile, Cabrera ran, standing, to third base. Rosario got to the wayward ball first, but threw past pitcher Christian Friedrich who, by now, was covering third base - and Cabrera ran home.
Fister, Coke and Benoit combined to give Detroit a 4-1 victory.


Saturday, June 16, 2012

HEY DETROIT, TASTE THE RAINBOW

Jose Valverde, there are no words to describe your pathetic performance last night.
One out in the 10th inning. The Big Potato fields a sacrifice bunt. He can throw to second base and, easily, eliminate the lead runner - Michael Cuddyer. Instead, Papa Grande decides to toss a sky-hook to first that put Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to shame. The throw was so bad that it was impossible for Prince Fielder to keep a foot on the bag and catch the ball. A real rainbow. The Gateway Arch in St. Louis was the baby brother of the throw Valverde tossed to Fielder.
Before the Valverde aberration the score was tied 4-4.
After the blunder - Colorado scored 8 runs - 6 against the Big Potato - ending with back-to-back jacks by Carlos Gonzalez and Michael Cuddyer off Tigers' reliever Luis Marte.
Hey Detroit, Taste the Rainbow...



"Get the fuck outta here, Big Potato!"


Friday, June 15, 2012

THE TIGERS ARE DOING ALRIGHT

Despite Tigers' fans bitching about virtually everything - Jhonny Peralta, Ryan Raburn, Quintin Berry, Delmon Young, the umpires, the Wrigley Field grass, etc..etc..etc..the Tigers managed to perform quite adequately in interleague play. Detroit took 2-out-of-3 from both the Cincinnati Reds and the Chicago Cubs.
I fully expect them to continue this pattern against the Colorado Rockies.
Geez, people lighten-up...





This has nothing to do with baseball. I just really like this picture.
It's the boating booty of Mercedes Terrell...


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

TIGERS, AND CUBBIES, AND BEERS! OH MY!


The Tigers visit Wrigley Field to take on the Cubs at 8:05 PM.
Max Scherzer vs Paul Maholm.
This should be a goodie!