And the Douche, with his douche-hands ready to deliver a blow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without Jeter. I think I might gag!
"It came without Posada, They had a guy named Maggs!"
And he puzzled three hours, `til his puzzler was sore.
... Then the Douche thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Winning," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Winning...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well...in Motown they say
That the Douche's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
This week's RACK-OFF! features mirrored rackage.
We`ve got the always-popular self-portrait...
...up against the pose-for-the-sneaky-boyfriend...
You know the drill. Place your votes in the box in the upper, right-hand corner...
Game 5's abound: The Cards beat the Phillies 5-3. Series tied 2-2.
The D-Backs beat the Brewers 10-6. Series tied 2-2.
We've got a big night on tap tonight. It's Opening Night in the NHL and...
...The Tigers and Yankees play for all the marbles!
Doug Fister vs Ivan Nova at 8:07 PM.
The winner of last week's RACK-OFF! was Billie Faiers who received 67% of the votes to defeat Rhian Sugden...
Big happenings on Tuesday - on the senior circuit:
Phillies beat the Cards 3-2. Philadelphia leads the series 2-1.
D-Backs beat the Brewers 8-1. Milwaukee leads the series 2-1.
In the American League:
The Rangers beat the Rays 4-3. Texas wins the series 3-1.
All the Rangers' runs came from the long ball...Ian Kinsler hit a solo homer and Adrian Beltre went YARD THREE TIMES!!!
The game in Motown was an entirely different story.
Let me begin by saying this - on Monday night, for the 1st game, the atmosphere was electric! You could feel the vibe. There was excitement in the air.
Last night, for game 2, I didn't sense that at all...and this is not in hindsight.
Even before the game people weren't whipped into a frenzy of anticipation.
The decibel level was way down compared to game 1. It was weird!
For Game 1 we began our night at Nemo's. For Game 2, I was the guest of a couple of Yankees' fans(my brother & nephew) and, thus, began our evening in a much more regal setting - the Da Edoardo Foxtown Grille. We sat at the corner table - corner of Columbia & Woodward - facing the entrance to The Copa...
Chris Chelios was having dinner with Kid Rock a few tables away!
They brought-in Todd Jones to throw out the ceremonial 1st pitch...
Jonesy was rockin' a Jose Valverde jersey for the occasion...
Beautiful night. 61 degrees in Detroit in October!!
They gave-out the towels again...
Everytime Jeter came up I had to hear this, "I wonder what The King's gonna do now."
(Jeter ended-up going 1-for-4 with a double and 2 RBIs)
Lions' QB Matthew Stafford was at the game...
V-Mart scored the Tigers lone run when he homered...
Granderson reminded Tigers' fans why they should've NEVER let him go...
Grandy hit a nice RBI double...
He also made two incredible defensive plays. In the 1st inning, with the bases loaded, Granderson robbed Don Kelly when he made a leaping grab on a line drive.
In the 6th, Grandy made a highlight-reel grab when he dove to snag a Jhonny Peralta fly ball to left-center field...
Upon his return to earth, Granderson hit hard enough to knock the wind out of himself. His teammates gave him a standing ovation from the dugout and pitcher A.J. Burnett stayed on the field to give him a hug!
The Yankees CRUSHED the Tigers 10-1.
Game 5 Thursday: Doug Fister vs Ivan Nova at 8:37 PM.
Remember, kids, the HBWHOF's prediction was Tigers win in 5 games. The heroes: Doug Fister, Victor Martinez & Delmon Young.
V-Mart already has a homer and 2 RBIs. Delmon Young has 2 homers and 2 RBIs. Doug Fister's the only one left that has to shine...and he's starting Game 5.
Go Tigers!!!
How about those Detroit Lions? Down 27-3 in the 3rd quarter, the Lions came back to beat the Dallas Cowboys 34-30.
...and how about those Dallas Cowboys? Their 24-point collapse was the biggest blown lead in team history!
Calvin Johnson caught 8 passes for 96 yards, and became the first player in NFL history to catch 2 TDs in the first 4 games of a season.
THE LIONS ARE 4-0!!!
Sunday's Scores from the Senior Circuit: Brewers beat the D-Backs 9-4.
Cards beat the Phillies 5-4.
Tigers' hurler Max Scherzer turned-in a clutch performance on Sunday.
Scherzer had a no-hitter going until the 6th inning! He ended-up throwing 6 innings of shutout baseball, allowed 2 hits, 4 walks and struck-out 5 Yankees' batters.
Miguel Cabrera went 3-for-4 with a homer, 3 RBIs and A STOLEN BASE!
The Big Potato took us for a rollercoaster ride in the 9th...Valverde came into the game with a 5-1 Tigers lead and threw 34 pitches - his 1st pitch was a homer to Nick Swisher! He, then, served-up a triple to Jorge Posada!! Then he walked Russell Martin...Mercifully, after allowing 2 runs, Valverde got Robinson Cano to ground-out for the final out.
The Tigers beat the Yankees 5-3.
The HBWHOF will be at The Copa, tonight, for a classic matchup between Justin Verlander and CC Sabathia - 8:37 PM.
Since Lana Grazouskaya, rockin' the old engish 'D', brought the Tigers a win yesterday - the HBWHOF is stickin' with her for Game 3...It's kinda like Leyland not changing his lucky underwear - except much more pleasant!
Over on the senior circuit, the Brewers beat the D-backs 4-1 and the Phillies beat the Cards 11-6.
In the AL, the Rangers beat the Rays 8-6 and in New York...
Doug Fister started the game in the bottom of the 2nd and he had it goin' on until the 6th, then all hell broke loose. With the score 2-1 Yankees, and with 2 out, Fister loaded the bases. Leyland pulled Fister and put in Al Alburquerque. Alburquerque has been great for the Tigers all season...but, in the playoffs - with the bases loaded, he faced the unenviable task of pitching to a great hitter - Robinson Cano. Cano hit a grand slam!
Cano finished the day going 3-for-5 with a homer and 6 RBIs.
The Yankees beat the Tigers 9-3...
Max Scherzer vs Freddy Garcia today at 3:07 PM
Go Tigers...
Boy, that rainout in New York was a buzz-killer.
But, before we get to that, some other stuff went down on Friday...
The Terry Francona era has ended in Boston.
Tito managed the Red Sox for 8 years and brought them 2 World Series Championships.
After the September collapse, and their failure to make the playoffs, the team announced that Francona was done.
The decision to leave seems to be a mutual agreement between Francona and team ownership.
I think the media in Boston are going to delve deeper into the Francona issue. There are a slew of rumours swirling in Beantown. It seems Francona was frustrated with a lot of crap going on in the clubhouse. During Friday's press conference reporters asked Francona about rumours of starting pitchers drinking in the clubhouse on non-playing days!
Terry Francona was the 2nd winningest manager in Red Sox history with a 744-552 record. He has an unparalleled 8-0 record in World Series games, sweeping both the Cardinals and Rockies.
How about those Tampa Bay Rays?
They've been in playoff mode for a couple of weeks now - and it shows.
For Friday's first playoff game against the Texas Rangers, the Rays sent a 22-year-old rookie to the mound!
Matt Moore, in his 2nd big league start, threw 7 shutout innings, allowed only 2 hits and struck-out 6 Rangers' batters. He became the first pitcher in MLB history to start a postseason opener with only one previous career start.
The Rays beat the Rangers 9-0.
Remember back in July, when Josh Hamilton tossed a baseball to a man, standing with his son - and, while reaching to grab it, he fell to his death? That man was Shannon Stone.
On Friday, his son, Cooper Stone, threw the ceremonial first pitch to Hamilton...
Now for the buzz-kill.
Friday night's playoff opener between the Detroit Tigers and New York Yankees was suspended because of rain in the 2nd inning.
The game will resume Saturday at 8:30 PM in the 2nd inning with the score tied 1-1.
Doug Fister vs Ivan Nova.
Remember yesterday when I said that the Tigers would win this series in 5 games - who did I name as the series' heroes? Doug Fister, Victor Martinez & Delmon Young.
Fister goes tonight. Delmon Young went YARD in the 1st inning last night.
I wonder what those dudes locked in the MLB FanCave did on Thursday?
After having watched 2,429 regular season ballgames...do you think they just sat, with the televisions off, and got shitfaced?
Game 1 tonight: Tigers vs Yankees at 8:37 PM.
Justin Verlander and CC Sabathia. That's a bad-ass matchup! But, there are several in this series. How about the closers - Jose Valverde, who led the majors with 49 saves, against Mariano Rivera - the greatest closer of all time? How about Curtis Granderson trying to eliminate his former teammates?
I'm looking for Cabrera, Martinez, Peralta and Avila to out-slug Granderson, Cano, Jeter and Martin.
Both teams have gimpy 3rd base issues. Wilson Betemit is operating on a sore knee. A-Rod has a tender knee and a bad thumb.
Both bullpens are pretty evenly matched.
Even though the Tigers are on a roll - they went 20-6 in September and won the AL Central by 15 games over the Tribe - most of the experts are picking the Yankees in 4 games.
I know I'm biased, but I'm taking the Tigers in 5.
My picks for ALDS series heroes: Doug Fister, Victor Martinez & Delmon Young.
Go Tigers...
The Detroit Tigers defeated the Cleveland Indians 5-4.
The Tigers will play the New York Yankees in the 1st round of the playoffs.
Miguel Cabrera went 2-for-4 and captured the American League batting title, finishing with a .344 batting average - 6 points ahead of Michael Young of Texas and Adrian Gonzalez of Boston...
The Oakland A's ended their season on a positive note by shutting-out the Seattle Mariners 2-0.
Gio Gonzalez pitched 8 innings, allowed 2 hits, 3 walks and fired 11 Ks.
Gonzalez prays to the imaginary 'baseball gods'...
Some people will blame last night's epic collapse on the 'baseball gods.'
Sorry, there's only one GOD and I'm pretty sure he's a baseball fan, but I highly doubt that he favours one team over another.
No, this epic collapse was more the result of a 'Perfect Storm' of events.
If you're a Red Sox fan the definition fits perfectly...Perfect Storm: a critical or disastrous situation created by a powerful concurrence of factors.
I was watching both the Red Sox-Orioles and Yankees-Rays games.
In order for both games to end around the same time something drastic had to occur.
The Yankees were crushing the Rays 7-0 going into the 8th inning. The game ended-up lasting 12 innings!
The Red Sox had a 3-2 lead over the Orioles going into the 7th inning when it began to rain. The result was a rain delay of 1 hour, 26 minutes.
When the rain came, Tampa Bay trailed 7-0. By the time play resumed, the Rays and Yankees were tied 7-7 heading into the 10th inning.
Here's how this cataclysmic turn of events ended: Jonathan Papelbon is on the mound with a 3-2 lead. He strikes out the first two Orioles' batters. Papelbon gives-up a double to Chris Davis. Kyle Hudson comes in to pinch-run for Davis. Nolan Reimold hits another double to score Hudson. The score is now tied 3-3. Papelbon has 2 out and 2 strikes on Robert Andino and Andino hits a single that Carl Crawford can't glove - Baltimore beats Boston 4-3.
Now we head on over to Tampa Bay where it's the bottom of the 12th inning, the Yankees and Rays are tied 7-7. The Red Sox have already lost
4-3 and are eliminated from the playoffs should Tampa Bay somehow win. For some unknown reason, the updated score has NOT been posted on the out-of-town scoreboard at Tropicana Field. Evan Longoria is at the plate. The scoreboard, finally, lights-up with the 4-3 Orioles-Red Sox final score. The crowd is whipped into a frenzy. Longoria cranks a liner that lands barely over the wall, inside the left-field foul pole for an 8-7 win and the American League Wildcard!
The 'Perfect Storm' concurrence of factors combined so that Longoria went yard 4 MINUTES after the Red Sox blew their 9th-inning lead!!!
But, after all is said and done - did the Boston Red Sox, after their pathetic play during the month of September, deserve to make the playoffs? The answer is a resounding NO...
The HBWHOF can't get enough of these British Babes.
This week's RACK-OFF! features some RACKAGE from across the pond.
The Only Way is Essex reality TV star, Billie Faiers...
...VS The Sun Page Three Girl, Rhian Sugden...
You know the drill. Place your votes in the box in the upper, right-hand corner...
